He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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