the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
