shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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