Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
