Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
