I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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