I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
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So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
The ass gains better be worth it
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