I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
