my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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