We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
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I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
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One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize