how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
