Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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