normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
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