at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
