He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
