The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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