The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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