Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
