I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
