ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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