I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
