did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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