Buhtt sex?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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