Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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