Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize