If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
