Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
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