Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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