bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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