in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
