Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
