we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
