so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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