how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
