Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
