i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
