I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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