This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
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