3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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