Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I deserve to be covered in dicks
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
