I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
