Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
