So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
