Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
