$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
where are my eyebrows?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
