I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
