I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
