you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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