Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
