Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
We left an ass print on the piano.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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