i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Randomize
