didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
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