I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
