What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
