why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
