Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Randomize
