Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
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