everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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