Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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