The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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